Tuesday, February 23, 2010

New Digs

Hey readers,

Check out the new digs at:
redwooddefender.blogspot.com

PD stories, Redwood encounters, favorite beers, social/culture commentary, ahoy!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Transitions

Hey 4-8 readers (in all seriousness, the people that read this are aMAZing).

So....

Not gonna be my own boss.

Not gonna eventually hate myself.

Not gonna watch Titanic (unrelated).

Not gonna start my own firm (yet).

I took a position w/ the Humboldt County Public Defender's office. It's a small office- ten attorneys, but it will be great experience. I will be handling misdos (misdemeanors) and backup for felony work- mostly preliminary hearings I believe.

Now, there are obvious drawbacks and sadness in leaving the South Bay- I have people I love and care about here, so much food, and I finally have some semblance of direction. (Who are we kidding, I still get lost going to the grocery store.) The upshot is that 300 miles, while far, is certainly not an insurmountable distance. I'm planning on at least two trips down monthly (that's biweekly for you fellow government employees), and would gladly put people up that wanted to schlep up the coast.

Career-wise, though, this makes sense. It's unavoidable how much sense it makes. I've been told that my caseload for a year would be about a thousand. This pretty much guarantees two tracks for my cases: settle, or fuck it, let's go to trial. TRIIIAAAAAAAL. Voir Dire. Cross Exams. Opening Statements/Closing Statements. In Limine motions. Rules of FUCKING evidence. Don't get me wrong, I love that I've had a unique year of felony work doing the prison cases, but you can't put a price on misdo experience in a PD/DA's office. I will take cases to trial, probably lose, maybe win, and in a year, will be able to confidently say that I am a trial attorney.

So with the above in mind, let's make a deal, you and I, my loyal readers. I will keep writing, but I think I'm going to make yet a new blog/blawg. I want it to be as holistic as possible- incorporating what's going on with my career, my life behind the Redwood Curtain, and my MANY adventures to Southern California. (Note: Southern California = Everything South of Eureka, apparently. No joke, I was reading RnR on Craigslist for shits and giggles, and they kept referring to ALL outsiders as from LA. Needless to say, I will be wearing NOTHING but Angels gear to piss people off. J/K, it will be all Lakers gear.)

So yeah, I'm scared, sad, excited, happy, overwhelmed, sleepy, hungry, and ready to start this new chapter.

Here's to hoping you guys will stay along for the ride...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Sigh...

Writing is integral to the legal profession. Which is stupid, because it's sooooo hard to write stuff. Especially interesting stuff. Stuff that makes people go, "Oooh, I want to read his stuff more than their stuff." Stuff that makes important people go, "Oooh, I want to pay him to write stuff for me."

Sorry for saying "stuff" so much. One of my New Year's resolution was to stop trying to sound smarter than I actually am- a result of being forced to read the dictionary at a young age coupled with the laziness of not really wanting to explore anything that I learned therein. (Another resolution is to stop using parenthetical notes and thoughts so much.... shit.)

Ok, the aforementioned (DAMNIT (Oh fuck!)) resolutions are actually not real. What I really resolved to do in this new decade is to write and read more. So in terms of writing more, I want to really delve in to my stalled solo practice, my current potential, and what I think/hope/pray this new decade brings professionally.

So with that pathetic introduction out of the way, let's address 2010 with everyone's favorite law school mnemonic: IRAC. Issue, Rule, Analysis, Conclusion.


Issue: Can Patrick Coughlin carve out a successful legal career in 2010? (Not surprisingly, this question is constantly asked to my Magic 8 Ball on my phone. Answers vary, but my inane rationalization to negative answers and inane gratitude to the positive ones never do.)

Rule: I can't help but think of my law school exam writing history as cemented by my bar preparation: If you can't think of a rule, make it up! A lot of people had a hard time with that come bar prep, but for a solid slacker such as myself, it was as natural to me as pent-up sexual aggression is to Tim Tebow. Ok, that simile may be lost on my legal readers, or those who don't follow sports as much as I do. Let's try a different, more salient simile. "It was natural to me as conservative judicial activism is to the current Supreme Court Bench." Nailed it.

Ok, enough stalling with rambling literary tools, let's make up a rule to address this issue. My rule: Success is and must be determined by hard work, relentless networking, luck, and mindful focus.

Analysis: So, if hard work + relentless networking + luck + focus is the aim, I have to take a hard look and be introspective with the past year.

I have worked hard. Very hard. I've driven many miles, written a number of motions, both successful and failures, both canned and wholly original. I've been passionate about clients. But I've also worked hard trying to obtain my own clients. And worked hard getting interviews. And all of that has stressed me out. It's taken a toll on me personally, professionally, and if I were to predict 2010 at 2009's pace, it could have lasting negative results.

Luck- it's been there, in both it's good form and more punch-worthy bad form. I lucked out with my contacts in Riverside, but lucked "out" when they didn't have enough budget for another PD. I've been perpetually lucky to have a job, but unlucky with a number of interviews and that pesky four letter word: the "economy." This luck should not and cannot determine my work or any other factor. It simply needs to be accounted for, laughed at one way or another, and closed.

Relentless Networking: Again, I've worked at this. A lot. But again, and I'm noticing a trend here, perhaps I've spread myself too thin with the ambition of working full-time, starting my own practice, and still trying to get work. I still need to shake a LOT of hands, always remember to get business cards and have my own on me, follow up with emails, calls, and drop-ins, and have my beard nice and trim and suit(s) pressed and crisp.

Mindful Focus: Noticing the trend outlined above, I think I see the true issue. I can't have it all. This isn't a defeatist statement. But I think 2010 needs to be focussed on working hard with the job I'm lucky enough to have, and still work at landing my dream career, complete with upward mobility, juicy benefits, and ideally within driving's distance to San Jose Municipal Stadium.

Whenever I talk to people and explain my situation, my knee-jerk comment is usually one of these:
"It's a hard time for lawyers."
"It's a great time to be looking for work." /sarcasm
"It'll get better..." /said with not so much confidence

The truth of the matter is to take any of the above attitudes to the corresponding statements is complete and utter bullshit. Yeah, it's a hard time for lawyers. So what. You're a lawyer, Cogs. You're not an unskilled 18 year-old with four kids. And you still have a LOT to prove. A sense of entitlement isn't worth much when you don't have much to back it up. And let's be honest- admission to the bar isn't a ticket to wealth and success, as much as you and Law Career Services wishes it would be.

Conclusion:
Looks like the Law Office of Patrick Coughlin is gonna be on hiatus for a bit. Don't stress, my faithful four readers! I still am resolved to write, and work hard to get to where I need to be- happy, gainfully employed, satisfied professionally, and wealthy with good friends and family. And I can't/won't lose sight of the fact that most of those things are already there.

PMC

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Art imitates life... and is generally funnier.

Ahem...

I feel like if I apologize for not updating every time I don't update for ever, it's going to create a vicious pattern. So I won't apologize. Nope. Just gonna write. (Ok, fine, I'm sorry for sucking at this blawg. I'd blame alcohol, but that didn't work for my resignation as dean of Duke University's School of Business, and certainly didn't work for my third marriage.)

Ok, let's get to business. It's Saturday, there's Big Ten football in the background, and I have appeals due this week. As a result, any "legal" writing done here is going to be light-hearted.

So, it is with much joy that I finally compile and present my favorite TV attorneys of all time.

5. Cliff McCormack-the jaded, snarky (as all characters in this program are) and loveable public defender in Veronica Mars.
Why we love him: The snark (obviously), the self admitted faults (all good attorneys know they're not gods), and their ability to "think outside the box." Example:


4. Marshall Eriksen- the wacky fledgling, sit-com-y attorney in How I Met Your Mother.
Why we love him: Well, ok, besides one particular reader noting similarities between myself and counsel Eriksen, I can't help but find any reason to not like him. He's unbelievably relatable to young law students, and attorneys getting out in the market. He's unabashed, portrays real fears and hopes, and is just real. It's not LA Law, when everyone's already instantly successful, and it's not a sleazy guy fulfilling a stereotype. His frighteningly accurate fears are notably depicted here:


3. Saul Goodman- the "Holy-shit-did-he-just-get-away-with-that-and-how-can-I-just-kidding-ethics-hotline" attorney.
Why we love him (or hate to love him, I suppose): Ok, to be fair, I do have a soft-spot for anything Odenkirk related. Both he (Mr. Show, Melvin Goes to Dinner, a multitude of Adult Swim successes) and his brother (long time staff writer for the Simpsons) are talented comedic writers and actors. And the venue could not be any better. He brings such a real seediness to criminal defense that is both admirable (in the worst way, mind you) and inventive. Like McCormack, supra, his ability to think outside the box is indeed compelling. Also, his near-hatred and disregard for clients does appeal to those of us who have had a difficult day with people whose expectations sometimes get a little too high. Example:


2. Allen Shore- the windbagged, "big picture," over-the-top, ultimate trial attorney.
Why we love him: He does everything you're told not to do in Trial Techniques.


1. Lionel Hutz- the law-talking guy.
Why we love him: Phil Hartman + Simpsons + just awesomeness = PERSONAL ICON AND HERO. There's just too many things to reference, so I'll just throw you some clips:





Honorable Mention- Harvey Birdman

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Yikes

Sorry guys, mea culpa on the lack of postings. There has been some significant updates, however.

1. Got a referral on my own through hustle and grit (an a little moxie). Met with potential client, spoke Spanglish, and felt very good about it. If the family can afford me (very serious case), it could be a very big deal. (My arm is now very sore from patting my own back.)

2. Picking up more traffic referrals. Should be interesting.

3. Putting my services out there more. This has become a double-edged sword. Yeah, name recognition is great. But when you offer a service in public forums, you tend to have to weed out the crazy pyramid schemes. Today I decided to have some fun with it.

The following is a verbatim account from a sketchy email received off of a listing for my contract attorney services. Enjoy:

The first email (italics will be running commentary):

"let he have you number I have something I think you would be intrested in."

Oh my God, I'm simply positive this must be the San Francisco Public Defender's office emailing me to let me know that without interview I have been hired as a Defender IV and have a corner office and get to make a press conference every Wednesday. Or it's a sketchy scam. Either, or.

To which I replied:
"
*******,

Given the fact that you have given me no contact information besides your email address, have not identified where you need work, or the scope of the work needed, and the lack of formality and grammar in your email, I am highly skeptical of any potential work.

I apologize if this email comes across as rude. I simply am playing the odds that when I place my services on a public forum, from time to time, they are met with "get-rich-schemes" and frankly, scams.

Your tone, lack of information, and lack of professionalism triggered that instinct.

If you have a legitimate need for legal representation, or to consult with a professional attorney, please feel free to respond. For other inquiries, please move on.

Regards,
Patrick Coughlin
Attorney at Law

That ought to show her... Wait, no. She retorts:

"
**** This is not a job.****


I am looking for 9 serious people looking to make an online income. I
will train you in exactly how I make over 3k each week.


http://174.132.147.250/*******
(website altered to avoid any potential viruses or false interest in whatever the hell she's selling.)

Sigh... despite your overuse of asterisks, and ridiculous claim that I could make more than First Years at Latham, why am I compelled to respond? Why, God, why? Oh yeah, so that I can have something half-interesting to post on my neglected blawg. Proceed.


"
See, now you've really piqued my skepticism.

You're offering me, if my math serves me well, 150 thousand dollars a year.

And, as you note, it's not for a job, but a "real business with real results."

Your website (with just a super professional domain name- not sketchy at all) indicates nothing. The only things that could possibly come to mind are either a sketchy pyramid scam, selling rock cocaine, or some combination thereof. (If any combination of the latter is the case, then by all means contact me, as you will surely need representation. And yes, I did just call you Shirley.)

Ok, so I'll end my email with this. I am looking for a job- namely any kind of contract work that puts to use what I have invested time, money and energy in to achieving. I value hard work, and anything that gleams of the "easy life," makes me sad and nauseous. (In fact, I took two Dramamine after your response- apologies if my language gets more and more incoherent. Drabbledonk.)

And, in terms of getting my own "business," I kind of already have one. I have a law firm. My name's on it, and I have these funny little white pieces of paper that I give to people when the express genuine interest in my services. A privilege not extended to those trying to scam the hell out of me.

Again, sorry if my tone has gotten even more sarcastic. I just value hard work, and when I feel that people are trying to make a living off of desperation and ignorance, I tend to get a little defensive.

No reply needed.

Take care,
Patrick Coughlin
Attorney"


What's that term you gamer kids are using nowadays? Oh yeah, I believe it's "pwnd."



Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Updates and Logistics

Hello all,

1. Apologies for the delay in writing- it's been a hectic couple of weeks with work, trying to find work, figuring out the start-up costs for my firm, etc. So let's start with the most significant update in the goal of being established on my own:

2. I met with a potential client! This was through the Santa Clara County Bar Associations Modes Means panel. I feel I must drop a plug for this program for a couple of reasons. First, it worked! I signed up, and got a referral relatively quick and have a meeting with a potential mentor at the end of the week, so there are checks and balances for new attorneys. Second, it provides a valuable service to the public- especially in matters that may not be court appointed, it is nice to know that there are places to go for sliding scale rates. As for the client meeting, it all happened pretty fast, and big props to Leela for suggesting that I not have the interaction in my home. (See below for needing an office space.)

3. After a productive networking event last week with the Santa Clara and San Mateo County Bar Associations' Barristers section, I got some valuable information on the Private Defender program in San Mateo. I'm hoping to get some more information on the viability of being a panel member, and the cost to meet the requirements. (Currently, you need to have a PO Box in the San Mateo/Palo Alto area, and have a place to meet clients.)

4. Dovetailing from #3, I'm beginning an ongoing list of things I'll need, and costs, so that I can set up a budget. Things like all-in-one printers, legal research libraries, office space, phone lines, etc., are being considered. It's daunting to be sure, but I know if I don't confront it head on, I will certainly regret it.

5. Having spoken with a friend of mine who's in the biz of web development (shotout to Dani), I'm spending more and more time thinking about my own website and what it needs to help me and generate clients and perhaps even independent revenue. Right now, I'm really liking sites like myshingle.com that take national legal events and boil them down to solo practice. It's a good model, and one that I hope to learn from and incorporate in to my own practice.

6. Pursuant to further good suggestions from Leela, supra, I'm considering some "weekly features" of the blawg. These features would essentially and simultaneously do two things: keep you coming back to read, and force me in to a routine of writing. Kind of a chicken-egg thing, you know? Potential ideas right now are simple legal advice on say, a Monday (ex., how to deal with a ticket, write a demand letter, file in small claims court, etc.) a wacky law story deal on Fridays. Thoughts?

7. I'm currently working on a writ of mandate for my day job- hence the numbered paragraphs.

8. Those are the bulk of the updates. Yes, everything is still very much up in the air, and it's scary as hell. Still, I have a great support network from my loved ones (especially those of which have an inclination to reference one great movie from the 90's), and I think I'm making some headway into establishing a good professional support network. I've discovered that while solo practitioners (and again, I'm having a HUGE issue spelling that word) work very much independently, there still exists a largely fraternal atmosphere to those who "go it alone." Perhaps it is that lonely nature of the work, or perhaps the desire to see others succeed- either way, I am grateful for tapping in to it and I hope that somewhere down the line I can return the favor.





Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Other Bar

(Blawger's Note: The videos you are about to see are long, kinda funny, extremely sad, and very real. They capture a Las Vegas attorney who was visibly intoxicated trying to get his lawyer on. The result? Judge ordered blood test of the attorney and a mistrial. Viewer discretion is advised.)

Video 1 of 4



2 of 4



3 of 4



4 of 4



Now, as many of you know me, I can't really play the moral high ground here and chastise anyone for drinking. I've been colossally drunk before- embarrassing both myself and others in the process. There's not too much pride in that, although there have been some amusing stories. Still, I don't think there should anything amusing about putting a client's freedom (this was a kidnapping case which I know for a fact in California carries a possible life sentence) on the line.

So how do attorneys get to this point? My evidence professor once commented that working on Child Pornography cases (as a Deputy DA) justified drinking. I was and still am inclined to agree. The practice of law is stressful. People are asking more than you give them when they are at their absolute worst. Sometimes people think you can fix everything- sometimes this may be the case, but it's still a lot to expect. I think that leads a lot of attorneys to drink.

And sure, a lot of people can drink, go to work and get stuff done. (Seems like all of my friends do this, actually.) But when your substance abuse starts to put clients' interests at risk, the bar should, and does step in.

New attorneys and old out there, what do you guys do to stave off stress? I would be interested in the responses, so as to avoid the oh-so intelligent decision of showing up to court drunk.




Post Script: Joe Caramagno is still alive and well out there in cyberland, despite being listed as inactive on Nevada's State Bar website. Hmmm...

Post Post Script: For any of you attorneys out there that fear you may have substance abuse issues, I implore you to contact the Lawyer Assistance Program. They offer confidential counseling to attorneys who are suffering from substance abuse and mental health issues.